Two years ago I was walking home from work, having a cry walk (you know, when you cry as you walk either in the cover of darkness, behind sunglasses or just right out in the open...I've done them all) and having a conversation with myself about what I needed to be able to do the things I wanted. I heard that night, "What if you let go of your apartment and just housesat for a couple of months? You'll save a bunch of money and you can do it for a couple of months."
I laughed at the idea, I loved my own space and having a stable home base had been such an important part of my well being since I was 17.
I went to bed that night and thought by the morning that idea would be gone and I'd carry on.
Well, I woke up and it was like the decision had been made in the night, I called my landlady who informed me I was actually in a month to month lease and I could move out the following month. Just like that.
I thought I'd last a couple of months...and it's been two years.
I have learned so much about myself in these two years and life has changed dramatically. Most importantly I realized how carefully I lived in the world, how I didn't let myself become fully comfortable but "held it together" till I would get home. Suddenly I didn't have that secure and quiet space anymore. And so I made the choice to try and be comfortable wherever I was.
Things became simpler and I began needed less and less stuff as I moved between houses. And I got what I needed to be able to cultivate even more firmly the home within these bones and this body.
And now, it is time again to have an external space that reflects my internal space. Sacred Space on Sherbrook was created for us, and now Sacred Space on...Hugo Street will be created for me.
As always I am so fucking grateful (yes that much) to be able to hear and follow a voice inside that many time doesn't make sense to others, and so grateful to know that whether it makes sense to others isn't a factor anymore.
And grateful to all the folks who opened their homes up to me as I bounced between neighbourhoods, what a gift!
I'll file this experience under the list of things I've done as I've experimented with my life and following the voice within that always brings me closer to home, even if it doesn't seem that way at first.
With appreciation for you being here,
P.S. People often ask me how I am able to hear and follow the voice from within, and there are a couple of answers but one of them is because of Qoya. In moving with my body and its wisdom often, a relationship can't help but be formed! I'm teaching tonight at 7pm and Michelle is teaching Sunday at 10am. Sign up here!