In last week's Love Note I shared the term "centering in your own care" and I promised there would be a part 2, so here I am! This part is why I am trying to make it a priority to be centered in my care and to support my nervous system by doing so...
Because it's about how we as human beings co-regulate and I am going to borrow some words from the book "Burnout" by Emily and Amelia Nagoski to elaborate.
"We are all walking around co-regulating one another all the time, synchronizing without trying, without even necessarily being aware that it's happening. Your internal state is profoundly contagious, and it is profoundly susceptible to "catching" the internal states of the people around you at work and at home and at the grocery store and on the bus."
"Sharing space with anyone else means sharing energy - literally. Connection moves us at the level of our atoms. Each particle we are made of influences and is influenced by the particle next to it in an unending chain that exists on the smaller and largest sales you can imagine, and every scale in between. We're made of energy. The nature of energy is to be shared, to spread, to connect one thing to another. Sharing space with other people means that our energy influences theirs, and theirs influences ours."
-Burnout, Emily and Amelia Nagoski
Did you hear that? "Your internal state is profoundly contagious."
And this is why I am personally trying to make a better effort at being centered in my own care, because it matters to me how I am affected by others and how I affect others, both in my work and my personal life.
For me right now, that looks like acknowledging my needs, asking for and receiving help and creating boundaries out of love and mutual respect. Knowing when I need time alone and also not letting myself hide being "I need alone time" when what I really need is time with people who I feel loved by and whom I love. And SO MANY DEEP BREATHS and moments with my feet on the earth.
I have most definitely simplified the explanation of co-regulation and the effort it can take to listen to yourself enough to be able to be centered in your care, but it felt important to share and we've got to start somewhere! And I wanted to shared why I feel being centered in our own care is important for the individual AND the collective. For you and everyone around you.
There is so much more that could be said, but that's enough for today, and maybe you want to experiment with me! Notice how it feels to be around others when you're centered in your own care and when you're not - and then choose accordingly!
Also, here's a hot tip, we also co-regulate to the earth, so if you are needing support...get thee outside!! Notice your feet/body on the ground and how the earth carries you.
*Again, I'm still practicing this and do not at all do it perfectly. It's the whole a work-in-progress and a masterpiece simultaneously thing again!
Wishing you unexpected moments of beauty,